Sunday, April 30, 2017

Overwhelmed and Grateful

As I sit here tonight waiting for the Hillians to FINALLY get in bed, I realize just how overwhelmed I am.  Hear me out!  Yes, I have an endless list of things I need to do.... laundry, dishes, orders to process, Thank You notes to write, etc.  Can all my mommy friends give me a huge AMEN?!  But that isn't the overwhelmed I am talking about.

This morning our pastor talked about God as a warrior.  I have thought about it all day.  It overwhelms me to think that God goes to war for me Every. Single. Day.  He loves me THAT MUCH! And He loves YOU that much too.  Even when I am running as fast as I can in the opposite direction, He is fighting for me.  He goes to war against everything in this world that pulls me away from His will.  It overwhelms me to think that I could be loved that much.  WOW!

I am grateful for that love and the grace He gives me.  I am grateful for the blessings He has given me.  I have a husband that loves me even though I drive him insane most of the time.  We were blessed with a larger than normal family.  We are expecting our first GrandHillian in late October.  All of this overwhelms me too... with gratitude.

Take the time to think about all you have been blessed with.  We are TOO BLESSED to be stressed!!  Until next time!
Love ya bunches!


Friday, August 26, 2016

Rambling from the heart...

What a day!!  I'm not sure what really happened to make it an exhausting/stressful day, but it has left me drained mentally and physically.  As I was folding the clothes on my bed a few minutes ago so I could go to sleep in my bed tonight, my mind was racing with so many things.  Wait a minute... you don't throw the clean clothes on your bed, so it forces you to fold them before bed instead of letting them sit on the couch?! Hmmmm.... And yes, there are clothes on my couch that Emi put there yesterday.... or the day before.  Don't judge me!  I know I'm not a domestic diva. Maybe one day I will get my crap together. Until then, like it or leave it.  This is real life in the Hillian household.

Now back to my overactive mind and exhausted body.  For much too long I have almost given up on so many areas of my life and just let life happen to me.  I have been too tired to fight or really care about what was going on around me. I have yelled, screamed like a crazy woman, cried, or maybe just stayed silent.  I have shut down in parts of my life and just survived the passing of each day.  But through this overactive brain of mine, tonight I tossed around some truly amazing things even in what can seem like the darkest times.

First of all, I am SOOOO undeserving of God's love and grace; BUT, He loves me anyway.  His love doesn't come with conditions.  He doesn't stop loving me, because I'm not the perfect child, wife, mother, or friend.  He doesn't stop loving me!!!  And His Grace..... oh His Grace!!!  Even when I have a really bad day and say or do things that aren't pleasing to Him, He extends grace. Yes, my actions hurt Him during those times and I'm not free from the consequences of my actions, but He forgives me and comforts me when I come to Him with a truly repentant heart.  He doesn't hold my shortcomings over my head.  When He forgives, He forgets and love me fully.  How amazing is that?!

Secondly, no matter how bad things are, they can always be worse.  There are so many families hurting right now.  I saw my best friend since Kindergarten today.  Just a few short weeks ago, she lost her sister, who was like an older sister to me. I can't imagine the pain she feels.  I know the pain of losing someone I love dearly, but I've never lost a sibling.  As much as I have tried to put myself in her shoes, I can't comprehend that loss.  Another friend is sitting in the hospital with her son while her husband is taking care of their two younger children at home.  Her son has multiple health problems.  I can't imagine the daily stresses her family endures.  Yes, I have been in a situation where we have almost lost a child to a serious illness, but Laura recovered and is healthy today.  I can't imagine what she is going through.

No matter how bad/stressful marriage can be, I know I do have an amazing husband and I don't deserve him.  I am so blessed that God saw fit to let us keep Mike longer.  Things could have turned out differently a little over two years ago.  Mike works hard for our family even when he doesn't feel like it.  He isn't perfect, but neither am I.  I know that is a shocker to some of you to find out I'm not perfect.  I promise you will recover from this letdown.  I am blessed that even through all my faults, Mike has stood beside me.  There have been times when it would've been easier just to go our separate ways.  By the world's standards, we could've justified a divorce.  But, we have fault our way through the difficult times.  Something I am learning with each year is that marriage is HARD!  You can't EVER go on autopilot. It takes MAJOR effort on both parts.  I am really having to pray that God will grow me into the wife that Mike needs and deserves.  People tell me all the time that they admire us.  I'm here to say, don't put us on a pedestal.  We have our problems just like everyone else.  We have our days that we don't like each other, and we don't want to be in the same house with each other.  Just when I am ready to call it quits and throw in the towel, God sends someone along to let us know that people are watching us.  No, people shouldn't put their faith in us, because are imperfect, sinful people just like everyone else.  But those people are God's way of reminding me that we are to be an example of Him.  What kind of damage is done to see people that you love and respect and look up to for guidance?  What are we telling couples that are just starting out by throwing in the towel and taking the easy way out?  That love/marriage isn't worth fighting for?  How many marriage foundations would be on shaky ground?  No, your marriage foundation shouldn't be built on my marriage success.  But the damage of divorce and the ripple effect will last for GENERATIONS to come.  So I have to resolve to fight to keep my marriage intact like my children's lives depend on it, because in all honesty, it does.  No matter the age, a child's life changes when divorce tears a family part.  Yes, God can bring healing, but Satan is right there throwing doubt at each opportunity he gets.

I have been blessed with seven great children that I birthed, and two chosen children- one added through marriage, one added through dating for an extended period of time.  We don't always see eye-to-eye on different things, but I truly hope they know I love each of them with all my heart. Homeschooling five Hillians can be enough to make a person want to drink.  Most days, I wonder if I'm doing them justice.  But then I think about all the time I wouldn't get to spend with them if they were in a traditional school setting.  And what if homeschooling isn't about growing them as much as it is about God growing me.  I have been pondering that a lot lately.  Sending them off to school each morning would be so much easier for me. I would have time to pursue things I would love to do.  But maybe God is growing that patience in me that everyone seems to think I have. No people, I am not a patient person.  I am learning what battles are worth fighting though.

I do have a business that I can work around my schedule.  It is nowhere near where I would like it to be, but that is my fault.  I am reading a book by the title No Excuses! The Power of Self-Discipline by Brian Tracy. I know I have to discipline myself to do the work even when I don't feel like it.  One of the things it keeps talking about is accepting responsibility for my actions in everything.  I am responsible for my life, not Mike, the Hillians, or family/friends.  I can make excuses or choices. But I am responsible for that. I have the ability to make changes and take my business as high as I'm willing to work.  It isn't going to build itself.

I think my brain is finally starting to shut down.  I can barely keep my eyes open.  I guess writing has helped get things off my mind.  I hope I haven't bored you to death.  I had forgotten how therapeutic writing is to me.  I'm going to bed before my brain decides to wake up again.

Love you bunches!


Thursday, November 6, 2014

Thinking my head may start spinning soon...

To say I have gotten overwhelmed lately would be a MAJOR UNDERSTATEMENT.  I feel like there is no downtime.  This year has flown by, and I have no clue where it has gone.  Oh, I could tell you everything that has happened in this year, but it seems like we have been in a whirlwind.

We are making some progress on the house.  We have been working on the outside lately.  We cleaned out small, scrubby tree in the front of the house. We marked some of the bigger trees we intend to keep and decided about the driveway.  We are working on running the water lines outside.  We even have the water lines connected to the house.  Mike bought a utility trailer earlier this week, so we now have something we can go pick up supplies with.  Tomorrow, we will be working on the flooring in the bathrooms and utility room and finishing up the water lines outside.  This should be interesting to say the least.  Mike and I have never done tile work.

The Hillians have caused me to want to pull my hair out at times, especially Lukey and Jon Jon.  Lord, have mercy!!  Those two can get into just about anything.  Jon Jon turned five on Tuesday, but you would think he was close to 100 by the "birthday spankings" he got that day.  He and Lukey love to use the bits and pieces of Pex tubing that were left from the plumbing as swords.  They don't know the word careful.  They are enjoying the outside though. They will play for hours in the afternoons.  You would think they would be exhausted from all the running and would go to bed easily. NOPE!!!  They love to see just how many times they can get up to play and not get caught. UGH!!  It makes for a grouchy mama.

I had a busy month in October with my Tupperware business.  I do love me some Tupperware and love sharing the Tupperware opportunity with others.  I have an amazing team and can't wait to walk with them as they grow their businesses.  I made manager last month. YAY!!  I earned so many goodies last month.  I have gotten some of them in already, but I can't wait for the other coupons to load to get the others.  I'm going to ATL for Fall Fest next weekend. I am so excited.  I am thankful that I am able to bring income into our home to help with the doctor bills we have accumulated this year.  My goal for my business to it pay the taxes and insurance on our home each year. That will lighten Mike's burden and let him be at home more.  I also want to make enough to set aside money to do some fun things with the Hillians.  Life is flying by and they will be grown and gone before we are ready.

Keep smiling... it is almost the weekend.  Love ya bunches!


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

What I've been up to lately

I updated everyone on the happenings on our family the other day, but I didn't say what I had been doing... other than taking care of everyone else. Yes, I have spent quite a bit of time taking care of everyone else for months now... more than the regular mom of 7 duties. I had to take care of my grandparents the two weeks before Mike's auto accident.  Gma Jean fell and cracked her shoulder in a few places. Exactly a week later, Papa had surgery on his neck.  Then things REALLY kicked into high gear when Mike decided to be a crash dummy.  I love you, Babe!!

In March, I started thinking about all the room I would have in my new kitchen and dreaming of all the new Tupperware I would LOVE to fill it with.  I sold Tupperware many years ago when Andrew and Laura were itty bitty.  I loved it, and I still many pieces from then.  After drooling over the website a week or so, I contacted a Director and took the plunge.  If I was going to fill my kitchen with Tupperware, I wanted to do it with a discount.  You guys know how much I love discounts.  When my kit came in, I knew I was going to have to share my addiction with others to "support my habit."  LOL!!  No actually, I knew I wanted to lighten Mike's load and help finish our home with no debt.  Plus, it would get my out of the house for a little adult conversation.  I love my Hillians, but I need adult interaction as well.  The more I have done, the more I have dreamed.  I have earned so many cool products and rewards. I am learning different ways to provide great meals for my family without having to be in the kitchen for long periods of time.  The little Hillians are loving it too, b/c I have taught them some of the things I have learned.  They love that I let them make their own little cakes in the microwave.  I am loving that they are getting in the kitchen to learn these things.  Homeschool families read that as: Life Skills, Nutrition/Home Economics, Math. They help me with putting stickers on my catalogs, setting up for vendor shows, etc.  Again, homeschool families read that as: Business, Interpersonal skills, Problem Solving... you get the idea.  They love when packages are delivered to check out all the goodies that have been delivered.  They watch out for the FedEx guy.  My website is

I had to have surgery on my hip.  Sometime in June, my left hip started bothering me.  I could lift it up and down, but I couldn't let it move to the side.  I finally made a doctor's appointment and had to have an MRI.  It showed that I had a tear in the cartilage in the hip.  I was sent to an Orthopedic surgeon, and surgery was schedule. I had surgery on the 18th.  I am recovering well. I know I have done more than I probably should have, but the world doesn't stop because I had surgery.  I have to schedule my physical therapy. I'm not looking forward to it, but it is a necessary evil. I hope to be back to 100% soon.

That is what I have been up to lately!!  I pray this finds you all doing well.  Hoping to get a little sleep now.  Love ya bunches!


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Almost a year has passed and so much has happened...

Wow!  I really dropped the ball, didn't I?!  I can't believe I let all this time pass without updating everyone. So, let me begin...
In March, Mike and I revisited an option of buying a home that we looked at a year before.  The home had been completely dried in and the walls where framed inside.  There was just a small amount of the rough-in plumbing done. The deep well was already dug.  There was a 1200 sq ft metal shop that was finished on the advertised 5 acres of land.  Did I mention the house was advertised as 5000 sq ft?!  Mike and I had decided against pursuing the house the previous year, because the owners were asking too much.  I found the house listed in the paper with the asking price reduced by $60,000.  It was enough to convince us to jump on it.  When the land survey was completed, we ended up with 5.43 acres of land.  We are also going to be able to finish the attic with two more bedrooms, a full bathroom, a sitting area, and storage, adding another 1000 sq ft to the house. The picture below is the back of the house.  I will add more pictures as I can.

We closed on the house on May 16.  Little did we know just 4 days later our lives would be turned inside out and upside down.  A few minutes before 6am on May 20, I got a phone call that I hope I never have to receive again.  Mike was on his way into work when he was in a terrible auto accident.  We were sent from Statesboro to Augusta because of his injuries, which included broken bones in his neck, broken clavicle, broken sternum, 4 broken ribs, broken vertebrae in the lower back, left "wing" of pelvis was broken in several pieces, and a bruised colon. When they went in to fix the pelvis early the next morning, they found that the skin had separated from muscle from hip to hip when the seat belt locked. They had to cut him from hip to hip to repair it.  We spent 9 days in the hospital and then the next 8 weeks or so recovering at home.  Our God is so good though.  We felt His mighty hands all over us during that time.
Just 4 days after Mike's accident, our oldest child Andrew graduated high school as an Honor graduate.  It was difficult sitting here watching him graduate with the empty seat beside me.  Through the amazing technology of FaceTime, Mike was able to watch his oldest son receive his high school diploma while lying in a hospital bed two hours away.  I think Andrew also FaceTimed with his daddy just a few minutes before the ceremony started.  I ate a quick lunch w/ my family before rushing back to Augusta to be with Mike.

The new school year has started.  Laura is now a senior at our local high school.  She is running Cross Country, and I love cheering her on. We are homeschooling Emi, JJ, Bekah Rae, Lukey, and Jon Jon.  The days are very interesting.  We are incorporating a lot of life skills into our days.  I have been showing the little ones snacks they can cook for themselves in the microwave with my microwave dishes.  They LOVE that independence.  We are also making many trips over to the house to work when we can.  We haven't been able to do as much of the work ourselves that we had hoped to do b/c of Mike's wreck, but we are trusting God's plan for our lives.
I pray this finds all well.  Love ya bunches!


Friday, December 27, 2013

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Our first week of the homeschool year

I have to say that I am loving the fact that our little Hillians are back home for school again.  I missed them the past two years while they were in public school.  I didn't say the week was easy, but I have enjoyed it.  This is what we are using this year:

Science: Apologia (We are studying astronomy this year.)
History: The Mystery of History Vol 1
Math: Saxon
Phonics: Saxon
Language Arts: A Beka
Spelling: Christian Liberty Press
Handwriting/Penmanship: Christian Liberty Press
Bible: Step into the Bible by Ruth Graham
Character training: Character Building For Families Vol 1

We had a very productive week.  We have to go to the elementary school twice a week for 30 minutes for Bekah and Lukey to take speech.  We enjoy getting to see our friends we have made the past two years while at the school.

I hope you enjoy the pictures.  I took them with my phone so the quality stinks.  You can still see that we had a great week.  Daddy even got to participate in one of our projects this week. :o)